Whoever said that Valentine’s Day is just reserved for romantic relationships lied. And whoever said that time heals all is an even bigger liar.
There was a time I enjoyed Valentine’s Day. You know, the days in primary school when it was socially acceptable for your parents to be your Valentine and everyone in class received gifts. Then somewhere down the line I allowed men to tarnish this day for me.
For starters, Valentine’s Day was the anniversary of a toxic relationship that I had. This day was a reminder of the day I said yes to dating him, not knowing the sexual abuse I’d endure not even a month in. February 14 was the day I’d find out through instagram that the guy I really liked had a girlfriend and all the hours we spent talking on the phone for months meant nothing. This day of love is often a reminder of my singleness. However, in 2021 I am RECLAIMING Valentine’s Day!
I am reclaiming Valentine’s Day for ME. I am choosing to focus on the loving relationships I am blessed to have. Seriously, I have some of the best friends in the world. I am also focusing on pouring love into myself and being content with knowing that I am loved and whole without a man.
I’m sure we have all heard of the 5 Love Languages. However, did you know that you can experience and practice these love languages while single? Here are some ideas below to try out, especially this weekend:
Words of Affirmation
- Speak life over yourself and hype yourself up with affirmations each day!
- Write a letter to your younger self. If there’s something you haven’t forgiven yourself for or something you’re proud of– write it out.
- Journal and work on your positive self talk.
Acts of Service
- Clean your room or area in your home you keep neglecting.
- Organize your space and fill it with aesthetically pleasing items (candle, inspirational painting, flowers, etc.).
- Fuel your body with whole foods that make you feel good.
Physical Touch
- Get a massage or have a spa day!
- Get physically active and move. I love dancing in my living room, but a nice walk outside counts too.
- Take a warm bubble bath and moisturize after with essential oils and body butters.
Gifts
- Buy yourself something nice. That cute top you’ve had sitting in your shopping cart– go ahead and treat yourself! On a budget? Flowers or a few scoops of quality ice cream will do.
- Buy yourself an experience such as a concert or a cooking class.
- Invest in YOU! Whether it’s that new camera for your photography business or that class you want to take– invest in your future!
I hope you give yourself a little extra love this Valentine’s weekend. And even if you don’t want to celebrate, I hope you find comfort and know that you are where the love resides. Lastly, when you feel the loneliness creeping in… here are a few affirmations I like to repeat:
- I am worthy of being loved out loud.
- I will experience the fullness of love without trauma.
- I am not and was never difficult to love.
- My anxiety does not make me a burden to those I love.
- Love finds me right where I am– who I am is enough to be loved!
With love and light,
Kai
