Celebrations are difficult when the world around you is in shambles. Even a small birthday party can become stressful and feel impossible to do safely when you’re living in a global pandemic.
I know, 2020 has been disruptive, destructive, and divisive.
Let’s take graduation day; a day that many students look forward to has been ripped away. I am saddened that students have not only been deprived of the opportunity to walk across a stage, but they’ve felt like commemorating this monumental accomplishment with pictures, cake, or decorating grad caps is meaningless. Let me state here and remind you:
You are worth celebrating.
You are worth relishing in your accomplishments and sharing it with others, even if it looks different this year. Even if the world is literally falling to pieces, you are allowed to feel joy void of guilt. You are allowed to rejoice and to smile at the little things. And if you’re still struggling to celebrate at all, know that is also valid. You are entitled to feel what you feel.
In the moments I am able to find joy in 2020, I still struggle to celebrate in general. I was hesitant at times to even share my good news with my best friends. It has been difficult to share my accomplishments when they don’t seem to measure up to the harsh reality others may be facing at the time. What I failed to realize is that joy and pain can coexist. It was almost as if highlighting my own win or celebrating just for the sake of happiness, I was being inconsiderate of everything happening in the world. Yes, we are living in harsh, tumultuos times. And that is EXACTLY why celebrations are imperative. I’m not saying to throw a party or go to Miami to be in a crowded club. I am referring to fostering an environment for yourself to share joy with others. Throwing that virtual happy hour (non-alcoholic if you so choose) or having a socially distant picnic may be just the distraction you need, if only temporarily, from insufferable life events happening all around.
In order to get in the mindset of celebrating you must first acknowledge that things won’t look the same. This was and is STILL a difficult reality for me to accept. Sometimes I get frustrated that I don’t get to enjoy someone’s presence the way I want. I get angry at the idea of hanging Christmas lights, but not having loved ones present to put that last ornament on the tree.
For my family, holidays are always a joyous time to gather and eat food. Holidays are filled with laughter, well-seasoned cuisines, and movies. They are a time for us to come together in unity, reminding each of us that the love of family and friends means more than anything you can wrap in a box. As tired as I was of hearing “when are you graduating again” or “when you bringin’ someone home for Christmas”, I’d do anything to roll my eyes at my cousins at the dinner table. Unfortunately, Thanksgiving and Christmas won’t be a large family gathering this year. To be completely honest, it may not be much of a gathering at all.
In August of 2020, I lost a loved one to COVID. And not just any family member, but a true heaven-sent gem. My uncle was always more than an uncle –he raised me as his daughter and was there for me every step of the way. My uncle took me prom dress shopping and went to all of my sports events and took me to tour NC State, my now alma mater. With Thanksgiving coming around, it’s been hard to even be excited because this was his favorite holiday. He was in charge of making all the turkeys. I’m talking fried, smoked, baked–and honey, NONE of it was dry. So I would be lying if I said that celebrating is easy during these uncertain times.
It’s okay that you’re not in the mood to put up a Christmas tree or do the normal gift exchange. Be patient and don’t force yourself.
I encourage you to be open to experiencing moments of joy. You DESERVE it! And more importantly, you NEED it!
Overall, I hope that you find peace during this holiday season. I hope that God brings you an abundance of unexpected joy. And I hope that whichever way you choose to celebrate, you do so safely (following CDC guidelines) and in good conscious, knowing that you are deserving of all of the good things coming your way.
With love and light,
Kai
What a great piece. I honestly didn’t think.of the college grads. That didn’t get to walk. Kuddos to them. For they should celebrate themselves always. Life can even without this pandemic get you down. But by celebrating you there is a spark. A little bit of happiness is good. But inner peace & joy is yours!!!
Thank you for the feedback Dahl!